The Old Me
I’ve always been a traveler; from my first road trip at 2 weeks old to my corporate traveling career. I spent my 20’s exploring countless cities around the world – sometimes with friends, mostly on my own, but always with my trusty 30L Fjällräven kånken backpack.
I was fearless, tapping my fingers on my desk counting the days between adventures. I’d book my flights, pack everything in my backpack, and with little more than a loose plan, I’d head out looking for adventure.
The Fear of “What If”
That all changed when I had my first baby. After complications that granted me an all inclusive hospital stay at 34 weeks, I was terrified to lose my baby. Even after delivering a healthy baby girl at 39 weeks, that still didn’t change.
Suddenly, the world was a harrowing place where anything could happen to her. Even taking her to the local library felt daunting, like someone could just walk off with her.
I felt she was safe in our little bubble at home. How could I possibly put her on a flying Petrie dish for several hours? What about the ear pain she wouldn’t understand? Would she even fall asleep in an unfamiliar bed at nap time?
When I started to accept that I can’t protect her forever, I began to worry about the logistics of traveling with a baby. What if she had a meltdown in flight? Or worse, a diaper blowout?!
Plus, how would we travel with a bulky stroller and the car seat? What about finding food she’d actually eat?
The freedom I felt traveling with just my backpack was replaced by the rigidity of packing all the baby gear and planning every day around nap time.
But eventually, my desire to keep exploring outweighed my fears.
1.5 Year Hibernation
After 16 long months, we finally took our first flight to visit family. An extended weekend felt like an easy escape.
We packed all the best in flight toys. Her favorite snacks were within reach in my trusty Fjällräven kånken backpack. We had enough diapers for two blowouts every hour. I read every article promising the best tips for a successful flight with a baby.
And she did amazingly well. All it took was that first flight and the world opened back up for me.
Reclaiming Myself in México
Immediately, I started dreaming of all the places we could take her (hint: everywhere).
A few short months later, we were eating the most tender cochinita pibil from a food cart, riding in a colectivo on our way to climb the ruins of Ek’ Balam in México.
Just starting to talk, we taught her to say “hola” and the locals adored her. We chatted with other parents in parks, plazas and playgrounds who loved that we brought her with us to experience their culture.
She ate refried beans by the kilo and watermelon slices so juicy it ran down her sleeves. She fell asleep in my arms while riding on the ADO bus across the Yucatán. We swam in a refreshingly cool cenote that she didn’t want to leave.
Her first trip abroad wasn’t all roses, though. She had her first public meltdown in a little restaurant down a side street in Valladolid. She had her second in the resort restaurant in Cancún a few days later.
My first solo backpacking trip was scary, but it unlocked my confidence to do it again. Now that we’ve managed a toddler-sized tantrum in a foreign language, I know we can do that again, too.
My New Travel Style: Intentional
One thing I have happily left behind is trying to pack in as much as I can during any trip. With kids, especially babies and toddlers, intentional exploration is essential. Slow travel helps avoid burnout and overstimulation for both parents and kids.
Unfortunately, so many people stop traveling when they have kids. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to stop finding adventure, you just have to redefine the journey.
I may have traded my backpack for a baby carrier, but I finally found my way back to me. Motherhood has changed how I view the world, but won’t prevent me from seeing it.
Now that I explore the world with both a toddler and an infant, I’ve come to accept that I can no longer fit everything for my travels in my little kånken. And that’s okay – I’ll just use it as a diaper bag.
